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amgosen@gmail.com

Bilbao, Spain

Logo designed by Lindsay Schwartz

THE MEANING OF LIFE.

 

It was a shock when the doctor gave me the news after a one-minute check up. Emptiness invaded my body. Not only did I have a rare and prominent in young men type of cancer, but also it inhabited my testicle since one year.

 

A surgery to remove the malicious tumor was scheduled for three days after the diagnose. Instead of a chemotherapy, I opted to have regular medical check ups. Seven months later, right before Christmas, my blood values had sky rocked. The emptiness came back. The dormant cancer woke up. It metastasized in my stomach’s lymph nodes and chemotherapy was the only option to survive.

 

The night before the first treatment, my wife shaved my hair, a symbol of change. The next day I had a foreign element implanted in my chest: A gate for the chemotherapy to access my veins. It was meant to kill every fast-growing cell, good or bad. From that day on my goals changed: to heal my soul and to be a whole person again.

There are many things that keep you going. Knowing that after this tough period I will be healthy again. A rest fear that I might not be able to defeat the cancer remains but I guess I tried to stay positive. Being supported by your wife, family, friends and colleagues, helps so much. I tried to get outside walking and when possible running slowly to stay fit. Moving is healthy with or without chemo. However there are side effects, my hair and beard fell off after three weeks. There are days where my body hurts. The worst thing that hit me was the swelling in my hands that led to open skin and pain under my fingernails. 

 

It never really leaves you; I will always be a cancer survivor.

This story searches to increase awareness about testicular cancer. To make it more understandable and less taboo, to open a dialogue, to help other men understand that a regular check has many benefits. Also to express that people and especially young people that go through this, need and accept as much help and love as they can.

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